When you are a kid you always want things to stay the same. The same teacher,same house, same friends. Being an adult is no different.
Its one of those things people say; you cant move on until you let go of the past. Letting go is the easy part. Its the moving on that is painful.
The girl was kidnapped when she was 6yrs old and was kept captive;
She was abused; it's all over the x-rays.
Her name is Holly Wheeler, it was all over the news, she was in the grocery store with her mom as somebody just took her. It was the summer of 2000. She was 6 years old at the time. Except they weren't in the super market they were out side. Her mom bumped into a friend and they started talking about the block party they were having that weekend. Could she bring a salad, did they have enough desert already. And that's how long it took for her to realize that her child wasn't there anymore.
Holly spent her last 12 yrs with little to no control over anything in her life. Our job is to break that pattern by letting her know that she and she alone is in control here. Whatever she wants, she gets, including you.
Scene - parents meeting they daughter for the first time:
- You are still my perfect baby girl. Holly, I know its soon but I would like to hug you. Would that be OK? (Comment - WTF!?!?!)
Scene - doctor showing a photo album to the patient.
- This is, I think, your first day at school. Your sixth birthday, looks like thats where the bunny came from.
- They really think that this would work? Give me some photo albums, a stuffed animal and we'd be normal again?
- No, I think they are just trying to help you remember because you were only six.
- Oh, well, tell them that I remember all of it. My first day at school and my sixth birthday. Just like I remember the first time he made me take my clothes off. And how hard he kicked me when I didnt act like I liked it. Or how he's breath smells like cigarettes, how I could have gotten away a bunch of times, but every time I made it outside I could hear his voice inside my head - that they didnt want me; that I was dead to them. And the only reason that I finally got away was just because he said he was gonna take another girl, because I was too old, and used up and disgusting now. Tell them that.
Parents talking to the hospital staff:
- Holly is on a fragile state. She will need all of us to obey by her wishes. Even if that means giving her space.
- She's brain washed by him.
- Possibly, but she still has feelings of blame and resentment that she has to process. Right now you are still strangers to her.
Doctor Talking about the girl:
- She is talking more in therapy. Although she's not talking to her parents yet. I mean she was kept 5 miles (8Km) away from their house; and they didnt find her. You dont just get over something like that.
Girl attempting to buy food at the cafeteria:
- She looks terrified. Why are you so mean? Would you just go buy her some soup?
- No, its not mean. Shes going home soon and her therapist says she has to learn how to do things for herself.
So sometimes we fight it, trying to keep things the same. Things cant stay the same though. At some point you just have to let go. Move on. Because no matter how painful it is, its the only way we grow.
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